Cambridge Children’s Hospital will support the whole family, not just the patient. Many siblings spend a lot of time in hospital with their brother or sister, or staying away with family or friends. Macie from our Youth Forum shares her ideas on how to make the experience as positive as possible.
My name is Macie and I am 16 years old. I am sharing my six top tips that can help if you have a sibling in hospital. I have spent loads of time in hospital with my brother Oliver since he was 18 months old. He is now 12! You can read about our journey together in our story.
Tip 1: Take music!
Music is a great distraction tool for when the doctors and adults are talking about things that are tricky for you to listen to. Being with a sibling in hospital can be scary so having a distraction is important.
I found that listening to slower music made my mood worse and made me feel sadder, so upbeat music is the way to go. If you are listening to music on the ward, make sure you have headphones with you. If music isn’t your thing, you can watch your favourite TV show. Oliver’s was always Peter Rabbit. He would watch this show on repeat as it made him feel calm and relaxed. Now that he’s older, he prefers YouTube.
Tip 2: Identify play areas and meet the play team!
Play areas are so important in the hospital as they are spaces to get away from everything going on in the hospital rooms. Staff from the play teams are always friendly so make sure you introduce yourself to them. This is especially helpful when you are visiting the hospital quite frequently.
Fresh air is always important so make sure to take advantage of the outside play areas as this will improve your mood after sitting in a room all day. The new Cambridge Children’s Hospital is being planned from scratch so play areas will be really nice, and built into places that need them.
Tip 3: Find time with your parent or carer that’s just for you!
Having a sibling in hospital is hard, but it’s even harder when the whole family is worried about them. When everyone is focused on them and not so much on you, it can make you feel a bit isolated and lonely. It’s so important to keep the bond with loved ones so making time that’s just you and them can really help. This ensures you have someone to talk to and that you’re not alone.
When Oliver was in hospital for multiple days or weeks at a time, my nan and grandad would sit with him and my mum would make such a big effort to spend time with just me. This has helped us keep our amazing bond over the years. When Oliver stayed in hospital overnight, my grandparents did such a good job of looking after me and making me feel seen.
Tip 4: Empathy not sympathy!
Going back to school when your sibling is in hospital is a weird time. You’re constantly worried about them and everyone’s asking questions. What I found best to do was to answer the questions and talk about it, so it was normal for everyone, as well as me. This is important as it encourages normality around hospitals and treatments.
If you are having a bit of a down day, it’s important to let your friends know so that they can check up on you. Maintaining good friendships with people around you is vital, especially during the hard times. It will help put an aspect of normality back into your life and help take your mind off things for a while.
Tip 5: Take activities!
When going to visit Oliver in hospital, taking an activity that we enjoedy doing together was one of my favourite things to do. It made us feel more normal and 'at home'. Oliver and I loved playing the game ‘Headbands’, so when he was in hospital, we used to play that. Games were a good one to bring as my mum and others that were visiting could also join in playing. We would also spent a lot of time colouring as this helped us pass the time and Mum enjoyed it as well. Playing ‘Headbands’ would always be hilarious for us as Oliver was rubbish at guessing, so it was always fun and gave us a good laugh.
Tip 6: Favourite treats and comfort food!
Bringing favourite foods for your brother or sister is such a great thing to do, because we, as siblings, must understand that they won’t have access to all their favourite snacks that they’d normally eat. This is tough because when you’re going through something really challenging you sometimes just want your comfort food. Bringing these snacks in could help with their mood and make them feel more at home. Oliver’s favourites were chocolate bars and cocktail sausages. We also bought in my mum's favourite dinners and snacks, including Chocolate Orange!
- Macie is a member of our Youth Forum and we welcome new members. Find out how to sign up